So...the votes are in...guess who's back!

After a hard fought campaign full of the Corinthian spirit and gentlemanly conduct befitting a world leading organisation, Sepp Blatter has emerged victorious from the FIFA presidential election (despite my best efforts with a last minute application for presidential candidacy sent to the FIFA General Secretary, for those who don't believe me I can send you a copy)...oh, wait a minute, he said what?...his only opponent did what?...and FIFA reacted by doing nothing?...oh, my bad.

But this is not about to be an essay about the issues I have with FIFA, no, this is a celebration of the man, the legend, FIFA's answer to the re-election of George Double-ya...Joesph S. Blatter.  So here we go, with the big mans greatest hits to date;

• Blatter on womens football..."let women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball...they could, for example, have tighter shorts...female players are pretty".  We don't need to delve too much into this one, Andy Gray doesn't seem as bad anymore does he.
• Blatter on the "Sky Sports" revolution..."yes, in general I think there is too much football on TV".  Now, if he hadn't become such a pantomime villain in the last couple of weeks I think he could have become many a football widows best friend...but not really the message the head of the football world should be broadcasting.
• Blatter on greed..."we cannot sit by and allow greed rule the football world". This from the man who essentially gave the 2022 World Cup to Qatar, that well known football powerhouse with absolutely no financial incentives offered to FIFA delegates...
• Blatter on the victimisation of his small organisation..."We have been accused of all sorts of things, for example, in the fight against doping, when we were the ones who made headway first".  To be honest Sepp, we all agree with you on the doping thing, but maybe it was left a little late...
 

• Sepp on the 'extra curricular' activities on offer at the South Africa World Cup..."Prostitution and trafficking of women, however, does not fall within the sphere of responsibility of an international sports federation"

So there we are...a small insight into the man who has just won an uncontested election, but still couldn't win all the votes...I'm sure he's a lovely guy, just don't mention goal-line technology or heaven forbid tell him you're English...he doesn't like our type, we make him nervous with our crazy conspiracy theories and vindication of goal-line technology...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fs0kP3-0pwA&feature=related

...so England will be blackballed for the next four years as a minimum...but at least the next in line to the throne likes us...oh, wait...

 ...hmmm, anyone wanna start a new federation with me?