Footballer IQ Award Pt 3

You learn something new everyday...this week Footyfile learnt a few things, amongst them was that for some reason the media and certain members of the upper echelons of the FA/Premier League hierarchy think that England and English teams have a God-given right to be the best and these small little teams like Athletic Bilbao have no chance of beating the mighty Man.Utd...

Not technically a footballer but getting this weeks award anyway is the Premier League Chairman Sir Dave Richards.  If you're not aware of what big Dave came out and said this week you may have been under a rock...or not English and therefore don't really care what this silly little man said in Doha this week.  To summarise his thoughts;

• England invented football so England should rule it.
• FIFA stole football from England.
• UEFA were formed to support FIFA's stealing of football from England.
• England are victimised.
• English people like to get drunk so we should be able to get sh*t-faced in Qatar even though as a Muslim country alcohol is strictly forbidden (his basic argument seems to be "who cares about religion because we like a pint").
• Even without alcohol, the English can still make a fool of themselves.  (OK, strictly speaking he didn't say this...but actions speak louder than words)

Unfortunately, this kind of belief is far to widely held in England and the FA, and is the basic reason why the rest of the footballing world hates us...so well done Dave, way to help Anglo-FIFA relations...

Keepy-uppy king (or maybe not)

Finally, vindication that you don't have to be able to perform thousands of kick-ups in order to be a quality player and this time its a little bit more robust than the standard "when do you ever need them in a game" (unless you're Jay Jay Okocha).

The FA have started to run a little competition between various footballers past and present seeing how many kick-ups they can do with a tennis ball...

The debutant players were Jordan Henderson and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain who managed a fairly impressive 148 and 136 respectively.  Since then Paul Merson managed 47 and Jill Scott 53...today however they released the footage of Spurs and Holland hero Rafael van der Vaart...obviously Rafa is hugely gifted and technically brilliant, after all, he is Dutch and thats what they do best...errr, obviously Rafa missed out on the keep-uppy training as a youngster since yer man can only manage 14

...suddenly my paltry back garden total doesn't seem too bad!

Amazing assist from Portugal

Nicklas Barkroth we salute you...



All hail the king...for now

There is very little doubt about which player is recognised as the greatest player on the planet at this moment in time...whilst I don't think that Leo Messi's 5 goal haul against Bayer Leverkusen is his best ever performance, it was definitely something very special.

I will admit its something of a personality fault of mine that I don't like things that are over-hyped, and unfortunately Leo Messi is in danger of falling into this category, the reason he's not in it is because every single time I see him play he is different class.  There are elements of his game that aren't great, and I think that the fear and awe of him is starting to play its part in his performances with players giving him too  much space and too much respect and letting the little man exert his influence on the game.

Pundits and media often point to the difference between his performances for Barcelona and those for Argentina, but I think this is unfair.  If you played both teams against each other sans-Messi, there is only one winner...Barcelona.  Therefore it is inevitable that he plays better for club than country, because he is playing with better players, this gives him more space to play his natural game...just look at the man marking job done on him at the 2010 World Cup, any team who has employed that tactic against Barcelona has been ripped apart by the other nine outfield players.

Whilst the whole world were drooling over Leo, there was another South American adding to his already sparkling reputation...a lad called Neymar.  Over here in Europe we don't get to see a lot of this young man, a video clip here, a Brazil international there and the obligatory transfer talk for any talented young South American player...true to form, video's surfaced of his latest effort in a hat-trick for his club side taking his tally for the season to 9 in 9 games...the second of which is particularly special;

Neymar is still only twenty years old, and because he has only played in Brazil he still has a lot to learn when he makes his inevitable move across to Europe...so this boy has got the potential to be something very very special...Leo is the king for now, but it won't be long until Neymar will be hot on his heels.

Footballer IQ Award Pt 2

There have been a couple few contenders over the past few days, the closest challenger being Javi Martinez and Iker Munain fresh from helping Athletic Bilbao beat Man.Untied at Old Trafford positing pictures of themselves in a hotel room with one of Spain's most famous adult actresses (err...or so I've heard thats who she is...) and her two "friends"...and then promptly denying they knew who she was, which I'm not really sure makes the situation any better, neither do some of the actions being "simulated" in said pictures.

However, the two youngsters were trumped by Ricardo Fuller's stupidity in Stokes game away at Chelsea yesterday.  For those who have not yet seen it, Fuller took exception to a fairly tame challenge from Branislav Ivanovic and so inexplicably decided to stamp on the prone Chelsea defender...now I know Chelsea's form has been indifferent of late, but you still wouldn't want to be playing them with ten men...

Unfortunately for big Ric, this isn't the first time he's done something stupid like this...

Goal of the week

Apologies once again for the tardy nature of the post...but every cloud and all that, if it had not been for me being incommunicado for the majority of the week this little treat from Japan wouldn't have crossed my radar in time for goal of the week consideration.

I've stated before (more than once I think) that I'm not the biggest fan of a sloppy overhead kick...true enough a perfectly Trevor Sinclair-esque majestic leap followed by the crashing contact of laces on ball is one of the magical sights of the game, but this is why the sloppy, arms and legs Peter Crouch type overhead is borderline blasphemy.

However, every now and then something special comes along, and this week something special did in the form of this little beauty from South Korea involving a double overhead kick...thats right and overhead kick assist for an overhead kick finish...hows your tekkers!?

 

Footballer IQ Award pt1

The modern footballer often gets labelled with the stereotype of not being the sharpest knife in the drawer...and in some cases just down right stupid.  There are the exceptions, Clarke Carlisle's appearance on Countdown and Philippe Senderos' mastery of 5 languages (although the mastery of positional sense, timing, tackling, kicking, heading, running, offside and anything vaguely football related still appears to elude him), but sometimes they do nothing to dispel the myths.

Today we will focus on one such event with a horror tackle from HSV's Paolo Guerrero...this is the height of stupidity because not only is it a truly terrible and dangerous tackle, but there is absolutely no need for it...the 'keeper (yes 'keeper) is going nowhere and there is still almost the whole of the second half to go, which HSV then have to play a man down.

Stupid boy!

Goal of the week

In an ideal world I would have Henri Lansbury's goal for England's U21 team against Belgium last night...cross or shot, doesn't matter, what a strike...but the internet has been blighted by copyright law, so on to the first ever edition of '2nd Best Goal of the Week'

And the winner of the inaugural award is from the Vietnamese league with Duoc Em Luong Van's effort...industrious people and this boy has literally kicked the p*ss out of this dead ball...

Sparky's still got it...

For those of you who haven't seen it yet, Man City released this video of ex-manager Mark Hughes executing a textbook volley at a City training session when he was still boss....

It begs the question as to why City waited so long to release the video...maybe thats why Tevez refused to play, he realised no matter what he did, he would never hit a shot as sweet as Sparky...

The Artificial Turf Debate

Supporters of a certain age will remember watching football being played on the artificial astro-turf pitches at QPR, Luton Town, Oldham Athletic and Preston North End.  This was the old style astro-turf that was like playing on concrete, there was little (if any) cushioning if you happened to be on the end of a robust challenge and many a player woke up on a Sunday morning with an angry looking burn on knees and elbows.

The debate back in the late 80's when these pitches were in use by the clubs were that they gave the home team an advantage because the team were used to the bounce and roll of the ball, indeed in 1989 the Commission of Enquiry into Playing Surfaces identified negative issues with the performance of the pitches in terms of ball roll and ball bounce.  Why this quite required a commission is beyond me, having been unfortunate enough to have played football on the old style astro-turf myself, I can tell you 100% that the ball bounces is weird and wonderful ways compared to a grass pitch.  Anyways, the results of the commission recommended the total ban of artificial surfaces from the start of the 1990/91 season starting with the First Division and working down the league, with the last pitch finally being removed in 1994.

Since then, technological advances have led to the dawn of third generation (3G) pitches which are more like an artificial turf as opposed to the old astro.

In response to the growing use of artificial turf use around the world, the Football League has been researching the instigation of new rules which would allow the use of artificial turf by the 72 Football League teams.  The current phase of this is a consultation with fans, managers, players and directors about the use of artificial turf, they have prepared a consolation document and a questionnaire (the closing date of which is 30th April 2012) to facilitate this.

This shift has been helped by the commitment of FIFA to the development of the pitches, since the late 90's FIFA have been promoting the development and in 2001 they launched the 'Quality Concept for Football Turf' which awards ratings to types of artificial turf based on a number of criteria to signify what level they can be used for.  New turf must undergo a number of lab tests to achieve the FIFA certification to test composition, durability, strength, climatic resistance, player to surface interaction and ball to surface interaction.

Currently there are over 262 top rated FIFA approved pitches in the UEFA member nations with at least one pitch in the professional leagues of 21 UEFA nations including; Cesena and Novara in Serie A, Lorient and Nanacy in Ligue 1 and Heracles in the Eredivisie.

There are a number of pro's and con's to the implementation of artificial turf; reduced maintenance, surface quality, no separate pitch required for first/reserve/youth teams and increased rental potential in the pro column and; initial cost, culture and perceptions of home advantage and injuries caused on artificial pitches being the main cons.

The pro's speak for themselves, having spent the last couple of years playing exclusively on artificial pitches at local 5-a-side centres and then trying to adapt to the 11-a-side on grass was like trying to learn to walk all over again.  Instead of rolling directly into my path, passes where now bobbling over my foot, under my foot, in front of my foot...basically anywhere apart from finding my actual foot!  3G pitches in particular provide an immaculate surface to pass and dribble on.

The initial cost of these pitches is around £500,000 and have an estimated payback period of £100,000.  For the top clubs in the Championship this will be pocket money, but the further down the leagues you go, the less likely it is to find a team who can afford to install a pitch no mater what the payback period is.

The perception of home advantage and the injuries caused are the more important ones...and as such many a study has been carried out.  Prozone have performed analysis of the UEFA Cup tie (both legs) of Red Bull Salzburg vs Blackburn in 2006, the results of which showed that there was no marked difference in the pass completion rate between the two games.  Interestingly however, Blackburns winger Morten Gamst Pedersen had an 11% better pass completion rate on the artificial turf than on the grass...if you think logically about it, surely the use of artificial turf gives the home team no advantage because both teams are professional footballers...who wouldn't want to play on a carpet like surface with no bobbles, no divots and no unpredictable bounce.  Surely the home team would be at a disadvantage when the go on their travels since they aren't used to playing on a sometimes unpredictable surface.

Equally, studies on injuries has shown no major difference between artificial turf and grass, there are less muscle strains on the artificial turf, but more sprains...although I take this with a pinch of salt since the long term effects on the joints is still unknown.

The main problem will be changing attitudes and culture (just think about the media coverage of the plastic pitch for England's game against Russia), although the increase in football being played at small sided football centres on 3G surfaces and the understanding of the qualities of the turf may swing this round...after all, even Wembley has a hybrid surface...

Nike Release New Holland Away Shirt

There have been some shockingly bad kit releases this season...but the new Holland away shirt is not one of them...definitely worth a look.

Whats it like to see a crowd? Whats it like to see a crowd...

I'm going to stop short of saying real fans go away...but there is something special about travelling into enemy territory to support your team...especially if you happen to be Santa Cruz fan Tiago Rech who made the 2300mile slog to see his team play away at Gremio...only to find that he was the only away fan who'd turned up...

...and yes, for those of you who wondered, they did score...and he did celebrate, what a legend...

Yeovil away doesn't look too bad anymore...

Goal of the Week

Whilst the African Cup of Nations may have ended, this weeks goal of the week proves that there are still some quality players left in Africa...in a week where there were countless long range pile-drivers, this delightful little chip from Young Africans Hamis Kiiza just had that something special

Technology in Football

We'll start todays blog slightly off-piste, but bear with me because I'm getting there...as some of may know, Joey Barton has decided to expand his musings beyond the 140 characters afforded to him by Twitter and has begun writing a column for The Big Issue.  The January offering was more of an explanation as to why he has decided to take on the column, but in the latest issue of The Big Issue Joey has turned to his thoughts about the game, and in particular the use of technology in the beautiful game.

I had been meaning to do a short post about my thoughts about the place of technology in football for a while, so what better time than now when I've just finished reading an article which puts across a different viewpoint to my own.  I will say now, I do not intend to wholly or partially assess, regurgitate or summarise Joey's article owing to the publication it appears in, but what I will do is just pick out a couple of key points where the views differ...if you want to read Joey's article after having read this then I suggest you go out and buy a copy of The Big Issue, its only £2.50.

I think as a whole we are past the point of whether there should or shouldn't be technology in the modern game, the main point of debate as far as I can see is to what extent technology should be involved in the sport.

Many advocates of technology (including Joey) point to the use in other sports, but is this really relevant?  Sports like rugby, cricket and tennis all use technology well and it adds to the game, however these are sports with a natural break and usually technology is only used for a small percentage of decision making.  Cricket uses the third umpire to make decisions on whether a batsman should be given out, for this to happen the ball has been bowled, the batter has hit (or not) the ball and there may even have been running between the wickets...but by the time the incident is reviewed by the third umpire, the action has stopped, the play is over and it seems logical to be able to wait for a decision.  Tennis is similar, points are played to the end, at which point the players are allowed to make a challenge on a decision, and we do all love the hawk-eye graphic complete with the crescendo of the crowd as the computer graphic reaches its apex.  Again, there is a natural break in the play, and in most circumstances this will only to decide one of a minimum of 48 points (assuming a three set match where all the games are won 40-0, and the sets are won 6-0, 6-0).

The closest current usage of technology in sport to how it could be used in football is probably rugby.  The video ref in a game of rugby only really gets called upon in one circumstance, when the ref requires help in determining if a try is to be given or not...and to be honest, when there are ten 20-stone behemoths all piling over the top of a tiny rugby ball I think we would all need some help.  The key difference again is the natural break.  If it is decided that the try is legal, then the 5-points are added and the ball is taken for the conversion attempt, if it is not a try then either the defending side has grounded the ball or they have been held up, meaning that the ball is 'dead' by the letter of the law and a 5m scrum is awarded.  The video ref is never used to verify the refs decision with regards to an infringement.

As far as I am concerned the only place where technology could feasibly work in football is in the case of goal line technology.  Having said that, I do not mean through the use of a video ref or some repackaged hawk-eye since these would result in the game being stopped for review...the problem with this is, how do you re-start the game after the stoppage if the ball didn't cross the line?  If play hadn't been stopped, the attacking team could have forged another opening whilst the defence were in disarray, similarly, the defending side may have been able to capitalise on the attacking sides appeals to the ref and have hit on the counter attack and scored a goal of their own.  Goal line technology needs to be automatic, by that I mean that it should be set up so that if the ball crosses the line a signal is sent to the ref who can then give the goal...quick and clean.  FIFA have run tests on various technologies and there are multiple companies around the world researching different mechanisms for this.

It is unfeasible for technology to be used for any other aspect of the game...how can a penalty decision be referred to a video ref without stopping the game, again, the same factors above come into play.  Obviously if you happen to benefit from the stoppage then happy days, but then at what point to refs decide to refer the decision?  Human error is part of the game, even with technology it would be part of the game since there would be a human element in when to refer the decisions.

El Fenomeno

There is almost constant debate over the best player in the world, is it Messi? Is it Cristiano Ronaldo? Is it Iniesta? Wayne Rooney? Oxlade-Chamberlain?  And who was the best of all time Pele? Maradona? Paul Merson?

For my money, the greatest player in my lifetime has got to be the big Ron, the original Ronaldo, El Fenomeno...

A quick peep - AVB and the Chelsea Revolution

A manager without respect is like a pie without gravy...it fills a gap, but it'll never be a world beater.  But what happens when the senior players take it upon themselves to disrespect a struggling manager?  And what does it say about those players when one of them happens to be facing criminal charges for an alleged offence and the manager has backed them to the hilt...welcome to the Chelsea training ground.

Whether the rumoured player revolt on Sunday at Chelsea's training ground was actually as much of an event as the various media outlets wanted to make of it or if it even took place at all, there have been rumours about dressing room unrest for a while.  AVB doesn't need anyones pity, he has proved in his young career so far that he has what it takes to be a winner and whilst things have not been going his way at Chelsea he has maintained his dignity and not been panicked into playing every player in his squad just incase one of the them can play a bit, or making hasty tactical changes...whether he stays or goes, in twenty years he will probably be mentioned in the same breath as Mourinho, Fergie and Wenger.

I don't think the same can be said for Chelsea or Roman's empire...

Sunday League rule number one is you fight for your team, no matter what, you go out on the pitch, you play and you die for the shirt...the further you go up the football pyramid, the more people come and watch, the more these people judge you on performance and heart.  The cardinal sin for any professional is to disrespect your club, your fans or your manager.

When a players ego gets too big, when they think they're too big for a club there is only one winner...just ask Pierre Van Hooijdonk....maybe a couple of the Chelsea boys are thinking they are untouchable and a few have been a little too self-absorbed for a while

Goal of the Week

Love him or hate him, better than Messi or not as good as Messi...whatever you're view of Cristiano Ronaldo you can't dispute his ability to kick the p*ss out of a football.  I don't usually like putting the big names up for Goal of the Week, but the movement and dip on this bad boy didn't leave me much choice;

The Football Money League

For the past 14 years Deloitte have compiled and published the so-called "Football Money League", and this week they published the 15th edition showing the results for the 2010/11 season.

The report itself has a fairly simple aim; to determine which of the football clubs from around the world generates the most revenue.  They look at 3 major sources of revenue for the modern club; match day revenue, commercial revenue and broadcasting revenue.  Importantly, fees gained through player sales are not taken into account and neither is club debt or total outgoings...if they were, I suspect the report would make very different reading.

Extract from Deloitte Football Money League report 2012

Unsurprisingly the top 20 clubs (see above) are all from the traditional 'big five' European leagues, the Premier League, La Liga, Serie A, Ligue 1 and the Bundesliga.  The revenue generated by these top 20 clubs is a whopping €4.4bn (or approx. 4.4% of Britain's national debt).  This represents over 25% of the total revenue for all of the European market.  It is also no surprise to see Real Madrid and Barcelona are situated at numbers one and two respectively.  The two Spanish giants have benefitted from having some of the biggest stars in world football within their ranks and have fully capitalised on this with the commercial awareness (Real Madrid take a certain percentage of player sponsorship deals varying on player) and by holding the rest of La Liga to ransom via the use of their independent broadcasting negotiation rights.  The breakdown of the revenue source reflects this, with Real Madrid and Barcelona both having approximately 40% of their revenue coming from broadcasting rights, the average Premier League team has a fairly even spilt between the three revenue streams.  Interestingly, the match day revenue of the top Italian clubs sits at around 16% of total revenue.

San Siro - too big for two clubs?

The gap between the two Spanish clubs is approximately €30m, however this was before Barcelona agreed to end their self imposed decision to abstain from lucrative shirt sponsorship by signing a deal with the Qatari Foundation for a reported €30m per season...top spot next season may very well be decided by Champions League success, adding spice to the already intense rivalry.

Elsewhere on the list, the effect of playing in European competition is obvious.  Schalke's run to the semi-final of the Champions League has moved them into the top 10, and Bundesliga counterparts Dortmund's recent on-pitch renaissance and Champions League qualification has boosted them into the top 20.  Dortmund along with Valencia and Napoli are the new faces in the top 20, entering the list at the expense of Aston Villa, Stuttgart and Atletico Madrid.

Despite their new found wealth the Schalke team bus still

left a little to be desired.

All in all the top 20 is pretty much as you'd expect, however delving into positions 21-30 makes interesting reading for supporters of a few more Premier League (and one Championship) clubs.  Benfica are at 21 and are the highest ranked team outside the 'big five' leagues, their presence is almost entirely attributed to their fantastic facilities and Estadio da Luz.  Also in this "chasing pack" are West Ham who managed to generate a hugely impressive amount of revenue (€89.1m) for a club who were relegated.  Elsewhere, Everton appeared in this "chasing pack" despite it being widely reported that they don't have two pennies to rub together, the Toffees managed to generate revenue of €90.8m, surely with Bill Kenwright desperate to sell the club investor can see what an opportunity a club like Everton presents...hopefully someone takes a punt on them soon.  North-East rivals Newcastle and Sunderland also make an appearance high in the list, proving that having a strong fan base in the local area can achieve...last time I checked I'm pretty sure they couldn't call on the international fan base of Man.Utd, Chelsea or Liverpool.

Whilst the report makes an interesting read I think it does somewhat miss the point.  With the same teams qualifying for European competition year on year, the gulf is going to get bigger between the elite and the rest, even the new "fair play" financial rules will do little to fix the problem...the rich will get richer and the rest will be playing catch up.  Unfortunately I think somewhere along the lone football lost and money won...but when the investors realise football is not a profitable business more than a few teams could be in trouble.

Goal of the Week

I was accosted in a pub by a stranger whilst watching the Chesea vs Man Utd game on Sunday who wanted to chat football for 90mins...this I have no problem with, that along with the fact that to my surprise this American was actually fairly knowledgeable was actually quite a pleasant change of pace to the usual rubbish you have to put up with in the pub...but where he lost me, was when he started trying to convince me that the African Cup of Nations was rubbish...I valiantly defended the reputation of my favourite competition, and as if by magic this little beauty popped up to add weight to my argument.

El Capitan

There has been the usual media circus around the JT/England Captaincy issue and to be honest unless you're Fabio or JT himself you probably think that the right decision has been made.  Without going into it too much I think that the FA had very little choice, obviously you're innocent until proven guilty etc etc, but it wouldn't look great if JT led England through the Euros and then was convicted of a racially motivated crime...I think what further backs the decision is that JT is now considering refusing to play for England again showing above anything else that for him it wasn't about representing and leading his country into battle, but more about the money, status and his own ego and to be honest, as good a defender as he is, I hope he does retire.

So now the debate starts s to who will replace him as captain come the summer...but why is it such a big debate?  Have we lost sight of the job of the captain?

When you're a kid its simple, the best player in the team is usually the captain...lets face it, at 12 years old its very difficult to give someone the captains armband on the basis of experience (having said that, do they still have captains at youth level?).  This pretty much continues up until players join the adult ranks, its at this point when the captaincy waters have become somewhat muddied.

So what makes a good captain, more than a few people will say that the captain should still be your best player, others should say it should be the most vocal player on the pitch, should it be the highest earner or the longest serving player or should it quite simply be the oldest?  Personally I don't think the first two alone are good enough reasons, just because you happen to be the best player on the park doesn't necessarily mean you're the most popular or respected.  Similarly if you happen to be vocal on the pitch it shouldn't matter if you're the captain or not, you'll still feel the need to constantly provide a running commentary of the game to/at anyone who'll listen...and even those who won't.

The Italian national side pick they're captain based on the most capped player in the team, this makes sense, it takes away the egocentric side of the whole process, the captain hasn't been chosen through any analysis of strength or weakness just a simple counting process.  This will invariably lead to consistency within the camp, since the top capped player will probably still have the most caps even if he misses a few games through injury, after all, at international level its not like there's a game every week.  So why can't we do it like that for England?

Obviously at club level this theory gets a little more complicated...should the captain be the player with most appearances for that particular club, or in their career in general?  What we need to look at now is the role of the captain;

• Conduct the coin toss.
• Choose ends.
• Be the teams point of contact with the ref.
• Occasionally introduce the rest of the team to the Queen.
• Sit awkwardly next to the manager before important games telling the gathered journalists that its a game of two halves, you're in contract negotiations, you love the club and you're not expecting it to be easy.

Thats it...as much as people want to hang more onto the role, that is it.  All those players who have been handed the captaincy to stop them leaving aren't the smartest going...football is one of the few careers where a promotion like that won't give you more money.  At the end of the day you could take the Liverpool captaincy off Stevie Gerrard and no doubt he'd be fuming, but he'd still go out there and play exactly the same as if he was wearing the armband.

So whilst the mass media scramble to get the big "Exclusive" in revealing who the next England captain will be, lets just sit back, relax and laugh as they analyse every squad member, probably name every squad member as the new captain (just to cover all bases) and then be up in arms if/when they get it wrong because we know how pointless it is.

Still got it

No...not the cringeworthy "Still got it Figo" advert...but proof that Dennis Bergkamp has most definitely still got it

...and yes, I have only just worked out you can post videos from YouTube directly...oh dear...

The YouTube generation...

The innovation of the internet has changed how we view the world of football, there are thousands upon thousands of websites dedicated to the beautiful game dealing with everything from tactics, to comment, highlights to just for fun but what we need to appreciate and the future generations should appreciate is how much this opens up the great players from this era to the future generations and players from all corners of the globe to us.

The "greatest player of all time" argument is a favourite, who was better Pele or Maradona, is Messi better than Pele...but the fact of the matter is unless you have seen all of the greats play live you probably aren't in a position to comment.  We are lucky that we can watch Leo Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, Robin van Persie etc etc perform week in week out on the telly and then fire up the internet and find clips and highlights from Brazil, Malaysia, UAE...pretty much anywhere.

The other beauty is the sheer volume of homages to the greats from the 90's onwards, so I thought it may be a good time to introduce a few of my favourite montages to the public domain...and if the Rocky series and the A-Team have taught me nothing else, its that we all love a montage.

Magnificent Montage Numer 1 is dedicated to the Maradona of the Carpathians...the majestic and magic Gheorghe Hagi...left foot like a traction engine, 5"8' tall with size 5 feet and one of the select few who have played for both Real Madrid and Barcelona.

1st February...

...a day to reflect on all that was, all that is and all that could have been.

The mass hysteria around the transfer window "slamming shut" has me in two minds...on the one hand I can't stand the media hype around the whole thing and the amount of ill-informed "professionals" doing some good ol' fashioned 2+2=5 reporting, or the fact that Sky Sports have a reporter stationed outside of every Premier League stadium stopping anyone who looks like the could play a bit in the hope of uncovering a scoop (it really takes the p*ss when they interviewed poor Mark Hughes whilst he was still eating).

On the other hand I do love the will he/won't he aspect of it, the texts and tweets claiming that someones mate in baggage handling saw someone who looked kind of like someone famous, which obviously means they are signing for Man. City or Chelsea (depends which airport they're at).  I do also like that it seems as if the whole football world has forgotten they're only allowed to make transfers for just the month of January until the 31st when all of a sudden they panic and try to sign anything with an agent.

Anyhow, enough of the waffle, what I want to briefly focus on is the brilliant little bit of business QPR managed to do in signing former French international Djibril Cisse (and as if to prove a point he's scored on his debut...again, that makes it 3 PL debuts and 3 goals).  Now obviously his record for Lazio in the first half of the season was not the best...1 goal from 18 league appearances isn't great, but like he said himself, he always put a shift in and never let his head drop.  I was amazed to see on a number of websites QPR being mocked for signing him and I can't for the life of me work our why, even at 30 he is going to be one of the better strikers in the Premier League, he's got pace, power and his goalscoring record speaks for itself.

In his early career at Auxerre he managed to bag and impressive 70 league goals in 128 league appearances and was the top scorer in Ligue 1 twice, making him one of the hottest striking prospects in Europe and sealing a £13million move to Liverpool.  He started at Liverpool where he had left off at Auxerre, scoring 11 goals in his first 23 appearances before that horrific leg-break against Blackburn.  He was never the same player at Liverpool, mainly due to Benitez playing him as a right winger upon his return to action.

A falling out with Benitez led to him getting a move to Marseille in the summer of 2006, however on the day he was supposed to sign he suffered his second horrific leg break in a friendly match for France against China.  The two clubs still managed to strike a deal and Cisse was back on his way to France.

Skip forward to 2009, and after a hat-full of goals at Marseille and a successful loan spell at Sunderland, Djibril was on his way to Panathanikos for €20m...47 goals in 61 games justified the move and won him a move to Lazio...and we're back where we started.

Despite the perceived attitude and the dodgy hair do, Cisse is one of the most underrated strikers in the European game.  Hopefully he can do a job at QPR and show the world he's still got it...maybe he'll even smile...

Goal of the Week

Its been doing the rounds on the internet...it is a delicious finish...and it is proof to those who think life stops outside of the Premier League and La Liga that the world is full of footballing genius if you just give them a chance...Erian Mealla, thank you

Money vs Talent

A lot gets made of some of the frankly jaw-dropping transfer fees that are paid for players during the transfer windows, particularly the usual mad-house January window.

Up to a point I used to justify the amounts being paid, professional footballers are a rare commodity so you pay top money for the more talented players, if you think about them as collectables Leo Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo would be limited edition players, whereas your Dean Whitehead type player is ten-a-penny.  Players are also great sources of revenue for clubs generating shirt sales, ticket sales and allowing clubs to have more sway over television money (particularly in countries like Spain where clubs negotiate their own TV rights).  Having said this, when players are regularly changing hands for in excess of £20m, I find it a bit hard to believe my own reasoning especially when you're average lower league team probably hasn't spent £20m on players in their entire history!  It makes it even harder when you look at some of the hefty transfer fees paid for players who didn't deliver;

• Chris Sutton, Blackburn Rovers to Chelsea, £10,000,000 (1999).  Having been one half of the truly devastating S.A.S partnership that scored goals for fun at Blackburn, Sutton was transferred to Chelsea with high expectations...28 league games with only the solitary goal in his one and only season saw Sutton quietly ushered towards the exit door moving to Celtic for £6,000,000 in the summer of 2000.
• Robbie Keane, Coventry City to Inter Milan, £13,000,000 (2000).  Robbie was one of the hottest young talents in the Premier League whilst at Coventry having signed from Wolves for £6,000,000 and scoring 12 goals in his debut season.  This led to somewhat unique move from Coventry to his "boyhood club" Inter Milan for a fairly hefty fee to play under manager Marcello Lippi.  Unfortunately for Robbie, Lippi was sacked fairly soon after his arrival and his replacement Marco Tardelli froze Robbie out, so after a mere 6 league appearances and zero goals Robbie was on his way back to Blighty on loan to "boyhood club" Leeds United in December 2000, with the deal being made permanent for £12,000,000 in May 2001.
• Denilson, Sao Paulo to Real Betis, £21,500,000 (1998).  Undoubtedly a talented player, Denilson was transferred from Sao Paulo for a world record transfer fee to Spanish side Real Betis after the 1998 World Cup with some of Europe's top clubs chasing his signature.  An indifferent first season was followed by relegation in his second and after a loan spell back in Brazil, Denilson was no more than a bit part player until his transfer to Bordeaux in 2005.  No matter what you say about him, he was a one man highlight reel.
• Robinho, Real Madrid to Man City, £32,500,000 (2008).  Another hugely talented player who was maybe a victim of his own transfer fee, especially when you see some of the scintillating form he's shown at Milan.  Whilst a return of 14 goals in 41 league appearances doesn't seem too bad, it also doesn't tell the whole story of how disappointing Pele's god-son was in Manchester.
• Andrey Shevchenko, AC Milan to Chelsea, £30,800,000 (2006) and Fernando Torres, Liverpool to Chelsea, £50,000,000 (2011).  One of Europe's top strikers moves for big money to the big spending Chelsea with an owner who expects them to deliver...only to show a woeful lack of form, disinterest in anything round and white and look like they would rather be anywhere in the world other than West London...sound familiar?
• Gaizka Mendieta, Valencia to Lazio, £40,000,000 (2001).  I think if I was ever asked to describe Mendieta I would probably use the terms 'solid' and 'does a job', but in what world is he worth £40,000,000?  He could have moved mountains in Rome, scored 30 goals and I still think I'd struggle to believe he was worth that...beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so maybe his wiley agent just kept showing this video.
• Carlos Tevez, Man City to whoever is stupid enough to buy him for anything.  Cracking little player and for at least a season will play for the shirt...but a combination of ego and poor advisors mean that whoever signs Carlos up needs their head examined.  Any player who refuses to come on as a sub (sorry "allegedly") and then goes AWOL in a sulk doesn't deserve to be playing the beautiful game...I say let him rot in Argentina.

There are a number of players who are missing off this list such as the like of Sabre Veron and Kaka who made somewhat ill-fated moves to Man United and Real Madrid respectively, but I genuinely couldn't bring myself to put them on the list because I do like them just too much.  Its not that either player was/is particularly bad for their new club, its just they've been somewhat overshadowed by they teammates in the case of Kaka and was unfortunate enough to be blamed for Fergie's decision to play Paul Scholes wide left in the case of Veron....oh, and no Andy Carroll purely on the basis of his flick on to put Dirk in against United earlier today...subjectivity is a bitch isn't it!

Carlos' £9.3 million

Whilst Tevez's "advisors" claim that his leaving Manchester City is not about money, losing out on a reported £9,300,000 through loss of wages, bonus' etc must hurt a little.  What also doesn't quite make sense is that if the reasons for leaving are either a) Footballing or b) For family reasons, why is he leaving the club currently top of one of the best leagues in the world to, and isn't Milan further from Argentina than Manchester, and don't they not speak Spanish in Italy do they?

Anyway, all this analysis of the Tevez transfer sage is for another day, what I am more interested in bringing you good people is a list of our top 10 things that wee Carlos could have got for his £9,300,000;

• Chris Sutton circa 1999.
• 6 Bugatti Veyrons
• 54,705,882 Freddo chocolate bars (or Fudge bars if he preferred)
• Dinner for him and 54,704 friends at the best restaurant in the world Noma
• 9,393,939 McDonalds Cheeseburgers.
• 1 Stuart Hughes iPhone 4 Diamond Rose edition (its not even a 4s!!!)
• 845 bottles of personalised Sperion Lambda Olive Oil
• 3 of the worlds most expensive stamp, the Treskilling Yellow dating from 1855 Sweden.
• 990 Tigers from www.buytigers.com (and I'm being serious...you even get 3 Tiger toys with your purchase of a REAL Tiger...)

or...

• 186,000 Inter Milan replica shirts.

So there we have it, for Carlos it may not all be about the money...but look at all the cool stuff he could have got had he not been such a....

Goal of the week

Before we get into the nitty gritty of goal of the week we're going to take a slight detour down the route of Assist of the week purely for this magnificent assist from the African Cup of Nations game between Libya and Zambia earlier today...unfortunately since it only happened an hour or so ago its not up on youtube yet, but if you get a chance it is a majestic bicycle kick onto the head of a teammate...if I get a chance (and remember) I will post it.

Onto the more regular goal of the week, and this week it is a chance for a true legend to take home the award.  Anyone who tuned into the Coppa Italia game between Juventus and Roma was treated to something a little special from Mr.Juventus, Alex Del Piero...you never lose it!!

"A gentleman never leaves his lady" - A. Del Piero

Only 187 days to go...time to start the arguments

As anyone who lives in London will know, you can't get away from the countdown to the 2012 Olympics, selection for the majority of the events is a fairly straightforward (if brutal) selection based on tournaments, trials an qualifying times, but for Stuart Pearce and the Team GB football team the selections they make will be open to huge media scrutiny.  This will be the first time Team GB has gone to the Olympics since 1960 tournament which took place around Italy, despite this, the team will have to live up to being previous winners in both 1908 and 1912 in London and Sweden respectively.

There has already been so much media coverage of the team and as to whether it should even exist, it is understandable that the Welsh and Scottish FA are worried about FIFA revoking their member status and making Great Britain form a permanent team...but what they failed to realise is that FIFA hate the English, and wouldn't want to strengthen the team by allowing the addition of the likes of Gareth Bale, Jordan Rhodes or Aaron Ramsey...either way, we have a coach, we have a kit, all we need now is the squad.

The selection rules are fairly straight forward;

• The selection will cover players being drawn from Great Britain (Scotland, Wales and England) and Northern Ireland.
• The selection is limited to players under the age of 23 with the exception of three players within the squad who are allowed to exceed this limit.
• Players who have played in the Euro 2012 championships will not be considered for selection (this one has been stipulated by the FA, not the IOC).

...but choosing the right players and keeping all the nations happy may be a little more difficult.  In order to help Stuart Pearce pick his squad, here is my provisional 23-man squad (assuming that a couple of players don't get called up for the senior team for the Euro's and that Jack Rodwell will make the plane to the Ukraine);

GK - Jason Steele (Middlesbrough, English)

GK - Ben Amos (Manchester United, English)

DEF - Nathaniel Clyne (Crystal Palace, English)

DEF - Danny Wilson (Liverpool, Scottish)

DEF - Kyle Walker (Tottenham, English)

DEF - Grant Hanley (Blackburn, Scottish)

DEF - Chris Gunter (Nottingham Forest, Welsh)

DEF - Craig Cathcart (Blackpool, N.Irish)

MID - Gareth Bale (Tottenham, Welsh)

MID - Aaron Ramsey (Arsenal, Welsh)

MID - Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (Arsenal, English)

MID - Wilfried Zaha (Crystal Palace, English)

MID - Joe Allen (Swansea, Welsh)

MID - Jordan Henderson (Liverpool, English)

MID - Tom Cleverley (Manchester United, English)

FWD - Connor Wickham (Sunderland, English)

FWD - Victor Moses (Wigan, English)

FWD - Scott Sinclair (Swansea, English)

FWD - Jordan Rhodes (Huddersfield, Scottish)

FWD - Sam Baldock (West Ham, English)

Over-age Players;

GK - Paul Robinson (Blackburn, English)

DEF - Ledley King (Tottenham, English)

MID - Danny Murphy (Fulham, English)

Reserves (if players get England call ups);

DEF - Martin Kelly (Liverpool, English)

MID - Josh McEachran (Chelsea, English)

FWD - Conor McAleny (Everton, English)

Unfortunately, being English I feel I may have somewhat weighted the squad more towards and England U21 team (15 English, 3 Scottish, 4 Welsh and 1 Northern Irish if you're interested) than anything else, but I have tried to be fair.  Obviously there are a couple of players on the list (Scott Sinclair, Kyle Walker and Tom Cleverley who may yet get a call-up for England, but at the moment I'd consider them to be on the fringes and not going) and hence the three reserve players.

In terms of the over-age players, I think it will be key to have a strong spine in the team.  Paul Robinson is a commanding figure in goal, and will be able to command the respect of his back four whilst still having the ability to pull off world class saves.  Ledley King is no longer built for tournament football, however with the current fixtures for the group stage, Ledley would be able to play the first and third games...and I defy you to find a better British defender who won't be going to the Euro's.  Danny Murphy never got enough of a chance for England, but as a calm head in the middle of the park with immaculate delivery of a set-piece and an eye for a pass, he could be just the man to be sat in the middle pulling the strings and driving the team forward.

Whilst you may not agree with the squad above and without wanting to sound like I'm writing for The Sun, I think there is definitely enough quality between the four countries to mount a fairly serious challenge on the gold medal...lets just hope Spain send their U12 team by accident...

G.Nev - Player, Pundit...hotelier

Before we cue the music, I know that as a player G.Nev wasn't everyones cup of tea...especially if you happen to be from anywhere that wasn't the red half of Manchester, but it is undeniable that at his peak he was the ultimate Mr. Consistency.

Poor Gary was never blessed with pace, finesse, skill, power, height etc etc, but what he did do well was defend.  In this modern era where we have been blessed with the kind of cavalier styled full-backs of Roberto Carlos and Cafu and others who had poise, time on the ball and oozed class like Maldini the right back from Bury more than held his own and would have walked into any team in the Premier League if not the world.  What he lacked in pace, he made up with impeccable timing, and what he lacked in power he more than made up for with aggression...on an attacking front he was never going to be as good as Cafu, but when he played behind Beckham for club and country he didn't need to be.  He was even good enough that when a young, raw, tracking-back-shy Cristiano Ronaldo joined the club, Fergie had no problem sitting him in front of G.Nev...and unusually for a modern day pro, G.Nev knew when enough was enough, but then everyone who saw his last game against West Brom knew...

Moving away from his playing career he has now become a firm favourite in the Sky Sports studio, even Arsenal fans have been heard complimenting his views and analysis and he makes a welcome break from the usual p*ss poor punditry we are subjected to in this country...how hard can it be to say something interesting and insightful without making a fool of yourself!?

And now another string to the bow...step forward G.Nev, hotelier.  As part of a consortium this week, G.Nev submitted a request for planning permission to erect a Man.Utd themed hotel in the shadows of Old Trafford...is there no end to his talent?

Don't get me wrong though...I'm not totally convinced about the idea of a Man.Utd themed hotel, hairdryers in the room that scream Scottish obscenities at the user whilst, somewhat ironically, drenching them in spit...the Eric Cantona restaurant only serving sardines...David Beckham bell-boys to provide immaculate service...special rates for Thursday nights...and be wary of the young gentleman checking into the Ryan Giggs suite...

...cue the music!

Indian football set for the IPL treatment

If you were asked to name to most popular sports in India you'd probably be right if you answered cricket and hockey.  In the last few years cricket has benefitted from the economic boom in India and money has been ploughed into the IPL bringing in top players from around the world to play in the tournament...and now the super powers in India have turned their attention to football (and no, I don't mean the Venky revolution).

It has been announced today that the Celebrity Management Group have gained the rights for a tournament to be held in India for the next thirty years.  The initial tournament will feature six teams and will run from February 25th until April 8th and is rumoured to have already signed up a number of "world class" stars.  Big names already signed up are Robert Pires, Fabio Cannavaro, Robbie Fowler, Hernan Crespo, Jay Jay Okocha, Fernando Morientes and Maniche...now one thing that immediately jumps out from this list, with the exception of Maniche and Fowler, is "I thought they'd retired".

Every team will be allowed to spend $2.5m in their first season and will be allowed a maximum of four foreign players and must have at least six Indian players under the age of 21.  The domestic league in India isn't particularly well followed, however it is estimated that 60million fans in India watched the English Premier League.  What the hope of the tournament will be is that the young players will learn from the old pros and boost the profile of the team in India and also boost the standard of the national team...maybe they'll even qualify for the World Cup before too long.

My fear is that rather than being a festival of football, this tournament is in danger of being a few old boys going through the motions to pick up one last big pay day.  The main evidence for this (apart from the average age being about 83) is that none of the players have actually signed for a team, they've signed up for the league with 30 players and 6 managers being auctioned off in the city of Kolkata closer to the start of the league.  Each team will be given a salary cap of $600,000 and be allowed to sign one 'iconic' player each...now the numerically astute of you will have noticed that there are in fact 7 'iconic' players listed, i wonder who will be the proverbial 'last kid picked in the playground'...I really hope its not Robbie.

Goal of the week...

After a few weeks without a goal of the week offering we're back with a cracker from Portugal and a goal with perhaps the second most swerve I've ever seen, only Roberto Carlos and that free-kick against France bends more!

So here we are, Artur for Beira Mar vs Braga.

Also a special mention to Arnaud Mendy for his effort the weekend before in the FA Cup against Bolton...proof that there is life below the Premiership.

Less than a week to go...

In less than one week, the best tournament of the year will kick-off...

Many a Premier League manager bemoans the exodus of their African stars to the African Cup of Nations, but for me personally I can't get enough of it and, without using the term "defensive naivety" and without swooning over the "athleticism" of the players, and whilst it may be argued that more global superstars will grace the European Championships later in the year I think that for the neutral, the African Cup of Nations will be a far more entertaining competition.

The main problem with the Euro's is that the players are far too used to playing with/against each other.  With the majority of the players in each squad playing regularly in the Champions League and in the top four or five domestic leagues and there are hardly any players who will represent their countries that ply their trade outside of Europe.  Compare this to the African Cup of Nations where you have players being drawn from Europe, Africa and the Middle East from the top clubs and from lesser clubs in the lower echelons some leagues.  Obviously the scouting networks do something to fill in the gaps, but there is still a large element of the unknown for all teams lining up against each other.  Whilst in European football culture this would lead to a cagey opening with the teams feeling each other out, in the African Cup of Nations the opposite mind-set is taken and an open, more attacking tile is more often than not employed.  This open style of football also aids the performances of some of the world class strikers on show at the tournament and gives the world a festival of football to enjoy with some top goals flying in along the way.

This has been helped by the failure to qualify of some of the traditional 'big hitters' of the continent, Cameroon, Nigeria and holders Egypt.  This means that there are a few newer teams in the competition like Libya who are riding on the crest of the Arab Spring wave (they only conceded one goal in qualification).  The qualification tournament was for the most part very tight, Cote d'Ivoire, Senegal and Ghana qualified fairly comfortably, but the rest of the qualification was decided on the last couple of match days with South Africa being eliminated on the last match day due to head-to-head record.  What this shows is that anyone could win it.  Traditionally the favourites Cote d'Ivoire and Ghana do not always have it their own way, particularly against North African teams, and the tournament always throws up a couple of surprises.  Senegal have faltered slightly since the 2002 World Cup but with the scintillating form of Demba Ba they must be considered to be amongst the favourites too, although they have been drawn in potentially trickiest of all the groups.

Group A:
Equatorial Guinea
Libya
Senegal
Zambia

Group B:
Cote d'Ivoire
Sudan
Burkina Faso
Angola

Group C:
Gabon
Niger
Morocco
Tunisia

Group D:
Ghana
Botswana
Mali
Guinea

The fans also add massively to enjoyment of the game providing a party atmosphere in the stadia, and unlike the Euro's where only the Dutch bring colour and noise or South America where Brazil bring samba into the stadia, every team will be followed by legions of fans all in party mood.  Expect face paint, headdresses and music to accompany every game and the kind of national pride and passion that many a European team could only dream of.

Whilst there won't be as many household names without Nigeria, Cameroon and Egypt there will still be a number of English based players hoping to lift the trophy along with a few old boys like Didier Zokora, Emmanuel Eboue, John Mensah and Max Gradel.  This will provide a platform for new players to shine and grab the limelight for themselves and maybe even seal a big money move with a good showing.

Whoever wins will be largely irrelevant for me, I just want to watch football how it should be played and have a good time doing it.

Sunday League Psyche

Player A is a Premier League player, they play for one of the top clubs in the country, their weekly wage would make Bill Gates look twice and they are finely tuned athletes, thoroughbreds and in peak physical condition.  Their natural habitat is a carpet like surface in front of 40,000 plus fans and their brothers in arms are all similarly equipped to play the beautiful game.

Player B is a Sunday League player, he knows someone who knew someone who went to school with someone who looked a little bit like someone who once had trials with someone who had a trial with Frank Lampard.  Their weekly wage is known by its colloquial name 'beer money' and the only sport they are finely tuned for is darts (not that I'm bad mouthing darts, I love a bit of arrows).  The natural grazing pastures of this player is the divot ridden swamp of a park in front of someones long suffering partner and the occasional man and his dog, his brothers in arms are probably called Kev, Dave, John or the ever ironically named 'Tiny'.

Now obviously there is an epic gulf in class between the standards the two players play at, inevitable there will be an equally large gulf between talent, fitness and nutrition...but in the mind of Player B when he turns up for a game or, heaven forbid, training there is absolutely no difference, just because he may be lacking in the attributes of professionalism and talent, doesn't mean that his game means anything less than that of Player A.  This is a key concept of the Sunday League Player Psyche (SLPP) that people who have never played football never seem to quite understand.

I have regularly been mocked by 'non-players' when I am painting a vivid picture of the highs and lows of my amateur career, and so I think it is about time that these people understood just what it means to we the players!

There are a few base principles that make up the SLPP;

1. Its not the taking part that counts, its the winning.
2. Anything -*insert player name*- can do, I can do.
3. Winning.
4. God loves a trier.
5. Whats the point of being second best.
6. Lack of ability need not hinder you.
7. The analysis is just as important as the game.
8. Every aspect of every game will be committed to long term memory for future use.
9. Every game is like a cup final...especially if it is a cup final.
10. Injuries are all in the mind.

Now, within each individual player the importance of each of these will vary and thus change the style of play, emphasis on 1, 3, 5 and 9 will inevitable breed a loud aggressive type of player, whereas a inflated 2 and 6 will probably lead you to a player with bright yellow boots.  In addition to these 10 principles different players will have their own thoughts and feelings about how the game should be played and how they want to play it...some players love a tackle, some can't resist playing that Hollywood pass and others who just have to try to beat one more player before passing the ball.

The most important thing to remember when addressing any amateur player though is that a little piece of them still thinks that they could make it as a pro.  No matter how much they deny it, there is a small part of every player that thinks a scout for a professional team will just so happen to be wandering through a park in the ar*e end of no-where on a Sunday morning and decide to take in a p*ss poor game of football only to be amazed to discover in the midst of all the over hit passes, industrial defending and bone-crunching tackles there is a player who brings something a little different...a star in the making.  Many a player has been picked up from the amateur ranks...so why not them...Geoff Horsefield, Ian Wright, Charlie Austin...errr, the list is endless??

These are the fundamental principles of the British game at grass roots level, no-one should be mocked for having dreams...did people mock Neil Armstrong when he said he wanted to be the first man to walk on the moon?  Did they mock Beethoven when he continued to compose music even after he went deaf?  Did they mock Mohammed Ali when he said he was going to knock George Foreman out?  No...so who has the right to mock me? 

Terry and Eric

We're all used to being inundated on a daily basis by football news via TV, websites, twitter and smartphones but the last twenty-four hours has thrown up a couple of biggies.

Firstly, obviously, the return of a man called Terry Henry to a north London based mid-table side.  People who know me will also know I'm not the biggest fan of the frenchman (and not just for the hand incident against Ireland), its not that I don't appreciate how good a player he is since he is undoubtedly one of the greatest players ever to grace the Premier League, theres just something about his particular brand of arrogance that doesn't sit well with me and to a certain extent the hype that surrounds him.  It was without doubt a great moment when he stepped onto the pitch as a replacement for Chamakh, and to then score put every Arsenal fan into dream land but I think that the bigger news broke this morning...the original King is back...and this time, he's running for President!

King Eric, having tried his hand at acting, being director of football for a non-existent team, being the face of Nike advertising campaigns and incase you didn't know, he used to play a bit too, but now Eric Cantona has declared his intention to run for the french presidency...well actually, he's attempting to lobby to get the signatures of 500 French mayors which would qualify him to stand for election to raise the profile of a homeless charity, but this seems to have been widely missed by the press who have instead been musing on his potential policies to tackle the social injustices that the great man sees in France today.  Then again, this is the same man who called for a social revolution in December 2010 by calling on the world to withdraw all of their money from the worlds banks to induce another global financial crisis...needless to say, popular as he may be, I don't think he'd be getting into Sarkozy's office anytime soon.

But in a perfect world, what would Eric's policies be? Mandatory viewing of the Ken Loach film 'Looking for Eric' for all school children (if only for this scene alone...god bless Dennis Irwin), obscure philosophy 101 on the national curriculum, legalise the burkha but only if you have your collar turned up and of course, what president would be without his trusty WMD's...the drop kick,the deft chip and of course the backing of a few old friends.  "Hello? Ah, Mr.Obama, so nice to hear from you...whats that? You're having problems with Iran?...leave it with me, I know a guy called Roy, you could say he's a bit of an acquired taste, but he scared the sh*t out of most people...Brian Clough isn't Iranian is he...no...then we should be just fine".

In the words of the great man..."when seagulls follow the trawlers, its because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea".

Paul Scholes, he scores goals...

A few things sprang to mind when news filtered through of Paul Scholes' shock return to Man. United, how on earth did they keep the deal under wraps until around an hour before kick off, does he still have the legs to get around the park, is his match fitness up to scratch, will he ruin his legacy and will G.Nev follow him back into Old Trafford?

The final one of these questions was answered fairly swiftly via the medium of Twitter when Red Nev himself tweeted that he was considering a return....so his missus put on the DVD of the West Brom game...needless to say, thats enough to send anyone into retirement.

Now, doubtless to say, the media will be full of various talking heads and experts discussing the rest of these questions...and to be honest, I have neither the time, nor the patience to go through each and every minute point.  At the end of the day Fergie isn't in the business of taking risks, and after all didn't Henrik do a job for half a season?  What I am much more interested in is the fact that one of the greatest midfielders of his generation is back.  When Zizou himself says that one of his major regrets in his illustrious career was never playing with Paul Scholes, likewise, Xavi rates Scholes as the best central midfielder in the last two decades you know the boy is a bit special.  There are also stats to back up the opinion though...of all the players in the Premier League to attempt over 1000 passes, the top completion rate in the division was 90.2% by Paul Scholes...oh and obviously, there is always this...and at the end of the day, you don't have to an athlete to spank the ball in from 30yrds...or do this.

Pardon the delay...

Firstly, apologies for the lack of, err, well pretty much anything over the last few days, but unfortunately I have been otherwise engaged in keeping my head down and my nose in the books...alas this is still the case, but to show I haven't forgotten about you all here are a few small thoughts on a number of things that I've been keeping warm in the hope of one day being able to release on the world.

• Fresh from last night...Tim Howard, discuss - Now I know in some countries this has been billed as a wondergoal, a strike from 100yrds, but as he said himself you have to feel for poor Adam Bogdan down at the other end.  That ball takes an un-godly bounce and dips in at such an angle that if he'd been on his line he might have struggled to get to it.  In any case, fair play to Tim Howard for a) having a right foot like Thor's Hammer b) for scoring a goal and c) for being grounded enough not to celebrate the misfortune of someone else like it was through his own skill.
• Luis Suarez - I'm pretty sure it will be a long long time (if ever) before anyone finds out what actually happened in the FA Inquiry into the Luis Suarez - Patrice Evra race row, and so I don't think it is right for the mass media to have either hounded or defended Suarez.  The facts, as we have been led to believe, are that Suarez has admitted to using the terms he was accused of, and that in this country those terms are unacceptable and racist.  What we have also been told (although I'm a bit wobbly on the validity of this one) is that in Uruguay its fine to use that term (which would imply that either this was the first time he's done it, or that using racist language is acceptable in Holland too).  Either way, what this all means is that he did direct racist language at Patrice Evra but he allegedly didn't mean it to be offensive because he thought he was just using an everyday Uruguayan term to wind him up.  Liverpool have now accepted the ban, he himself has apologised and has vowed now he is aware of the connotations of the word he will not use it again.
• Liverpool and those T-Shirts - There is nothing wrong with showing solidarity with a member of your team and I'm a big believer in innocent until proven guilty...but Luis Suarez had been found guilty, so to wear T-Shirts supporting him seems a little off...I bet you don't see Sunderland players warming up in Titus Bramble T-Shirts after his third arrest on suspicion of sexual assault today.
• John Terry - if he called Anton a "blind c***" and not what he has been accused of I will literally go down to the Chelsea training complex and be JT's b*tch for the day...and no-one in their right mind would want to do that.
• Demba Ba - what a player and what a season.  I don't want to go getting all misty eyed over here, but with the power, pace, movement and finishing ability is he not starting to remind anyone else of Didier Drogba?  Newcastle will definately miss him when he goes off to the African Cup of Nations.
• The African Cup of Nations - its nearly here! I'm so excited I'm like a five year old on Christmas Eve.  What the European Championships lacks, the African Cup of Nations provide and it all kicks off on the 21st January.
• Asia, the new Qatar or the new, new NASL. - There was a time when instead of retiring gracefully, old pro's would ship out to the US for a few years to pasture and fill their pockets in the sunshine.  After the collapse of the NASL they were a little stuck for places to go, until Qatar and the UAE turned up to take players like Leboeuf and Cannavaro for a season or two to once again fill their pockets.  Now it seems like the place to go is Asia, already in the summer Robbie 'God' Fowler signed for Thai Premier League side Muangthong United, now Nicolas Anelka has signed for Shanghai Shenhua with Didier Drogba tempted to follow suit...could the football world now be following the business world to China?  Anelka will be pleased to know he is following in the footballing footsteps of such greats as Carsten Jancker, Jorg Albertz and Englands own Howard Wilkinson.