The Harry Redknapp School of Mathematics - Part 2

After a busy weekend masterminding a 1-0 win over Sunderland, 'Arry turns up for class in a buoyant mood ready to impart yet more of his special knowledge.

Lesson #2 -Harry on Averages and Quartiles

'Arry opens the lesson with a quick test..."You go in at half-time, 0-2 at home to the team currently propping up the table.  When interviewed by Garth Crooks after the game and he questions you about the first half performance, do you describe the performance as a) Shocking; b) Average or c) Top Notch?"

The answer of course is B...average...for you see, 'Arry has a very different definition of the word average to you and me.  To anyone else, you would feel that losing 2-0 at home to bottom of the league would be a fairly poor performance, but 'Arry is a glass half full kind of guy, and he has his own system for defining averages and quartiles.

First Quartile - Usually defined as;

lower quartile = cuts off lowest 25% of data

...but not so in the Harry Redknapp school, players deemed to be in the first quartile is called 'average', 'Arry doesn't sign rubbish players, so even in training drills the worst his players are is 'average'.  For example, Davor Suker was average when he played for West Ham.

Second Quartile - Usually defined as;

median = cuts data set in half

These are players who in Harry's eyes are 'top players' these are your bog standard Premier League players, your Dave Jones, Ronnie Stam or Gary Caldwell (can you tell I'm watching Wigan v Liverpool).  This is quite a sly one on 'Arrys part, since it gives the players illusions of grandeur, making them feel like they can stroke the ball across the turf with the best of them...only to under-hit a pass and let Jermain Defoe et al in to score.

Now things get a bit sketchy again with the 'Arry system.  From 'Top Players', the next step up is 'Top, Top Players'.  This accolade is reserved for those Tottenham regulars who poor 'Arry is desperate to keep hold of during the transfer window...Gareth Bale, Luka Modric etc.  By describing these as 'Top, Top Players' 'Arry secretly is adding £7.5m per 'Top' onto the value of the player, so not only is he re-iterating the importance of the players to the team, he is inflating prices.

The upper echelons of the footballing ranks have one more level to get to, those who are in the 'Top, Top, Top Player' category...these are reserved for non-Spurs players, but players who 'Arry would soon like to be Spurs players.  Top. top, top is the ultimate form of media flattery utterance to pass the lips of 'Arry.

Be careful with the use of these terms, they are very contagious and very probably hereditary if you ever take notice of what Jamie Redknapp is spewing out during his punditry work (in between talking about Frank).

A nice simple lesson today for you...lets see how many of you will be 'Top, Top, Top' students after the quiz.